Getting engaged is pretty exciting and also pretty overwhelming. It’s not long before the questions start rolling in – where will it be, is there a date yet, can I bring a plus one? Not to mention the questions that you and your partner might have. Like how in the world are we going to have the wedding we want with the budget we have?
I’ll start by saying, there’s no magic answer here – it’s likely that sacrifices will have to be made to stay in budget – but the key is being strategic in which sacrifices you make. The point of this article is to give you a framework to help make those decisions.
What Do You Care About Most?
Before you even begin budgeting, I recommend you and your partner take a step back to really think about what is most important to you both when it comes to your wedding. A few questions to consider:
- Why are you having this wedding?
- How do you want your guests to feel? How do you want to feel?
- What do you value most about an event?
- When you close your eyes and imagine your amazing wedding day, what are you imagining?
Write down your thoughts and spend some time discussing with your partner to find the common ground. Some people might call this a vision statement, other people might just want to jot down a few bullet points describing their thoughts, but either way it’s worth taking the time*. Whatever you and your partner decide here should be your guiding principle for the rest of your wedding planning – budget and beyond. And remember, just because you’ve seen weddings done one way or another, it doesn’t mean you have to do the same thing. Take what you like and leave the rest!
*For more in depth information on this type of exercise, there are many different resources out there. Personally I would recommend checking out the A Practical Wedding Planner by Meg Keene (Chapter 1) or Elisabeth Kramer’s Prioritization Exercise, both of which I think do a great job of explaining this process.
Start Prioritizing
From there, start thinking about what tangible things go into making those dreams happen. Maybe you and your partner bond over music, so it’s really important for you to have live music at your wedding. Perhaps you’re foodies and good food is the key to any amazing event. Maybe you want to spend as much quality time as possible with your guests, so you want to have multiple days of events. Whatever it is, it’s okay to want that. But once you know those top priorities, you can start to work with the rest. The following is a list of potential areas you could consider DIY-ing or skipping entirely. This list is not exhaustive, and they might not all apply to you, but it’s a good way to get the juices flowing.
- Music
- Consider skipping hiring a DJ or a band and instead rent some quality speakers, make a playlist, and ask a friend or family member to be your MC for the night. Check out this article where someone goes in-depth on how they approached building a wedding playlist. Reddit is also an amazing resource for this.
- Florals
- Consider just getting florals for you and your partner (and potentially wedding party or key family members), but skip florals as decoration.
- If you do want to use florals as decoration, get buckets of florals (check out flower farms or even grocery stores like Trader Joe’s or Costco) and bud vases, and ask friends or family to assemble them for you day-of. This is typically much cheaper than having a professional create floral centerpieces.
- Food
- Consider having a vegetarian wedding. This typically costs less money than meat and doesn’t require you to have as many different options because you can accommodate more dietary restrictions with each item.
- If your venue allows you to get your own catering, instead of hiring full-service caterers, consider getting catering takeout from a restaurant and separately hiring event staff to manage a buffet.
- Alcohol
- Consider only offering beer or wine (no hard liquor). Or only offer one or two specific mixed drinks instead of a full bar, which will significantly reduce the variety of alcohol needed.
- Consider having a cash bar (meaning alcohol is available, but not paid for). If you go this route, make sure to let your guests know this in advance, as well as communicate what payment options will be available (cash, credit card, Venmo, etc.).
- Consider having a dry wedding. Alcohol is not a required part of a wedding. For this option, make sure to offer some non-alcoholic beverages and communicate this decision to guests in advance.
- Venue
- Consider getting married in a public park. This can be a very economical (and often beautiful) option. Just make sure to check out permitting requirements where you live so you can reserve the space, consider back-up options in case of inclement weather, and know that you may be sharing the space with others.
- Decor
- Many venues – indoor or outdoor – already look great and don’t need as much decor as you’d think. Consider skipping decor all together, or just worry about nice lighting (string lights can go a long way).
- No one will notice your centerpieces (or lack thereof) – consider putting a table number with a candle and calling it good. Or nothing at all.
Pick centerpieces that double as guest gifts. For example, use house plants as centerpieces, or fresh fruit (think apples, peaches, or pears), and send those home with guests at the end of the night.
- Date
- Consider getting married on a weekday or outside of peak season. This can save significant money at your venue, as well as on some vendors.
- Guest List
- This one is pretty self-explanatory, but for each guest you have, you are typically paying for one or multiple meals for that person, which adds up quickly. Less guests usually means less money.
Get Creative
Once you’ve prioritized what matters to you most, and identified areas that you might be willing to sacrifice on, you can start getting creative in other ways to stay on budget.
- Borrow items or find them for free
- If you live in Seattle or Portland, check out Something Borrowed Exchange – our free online platform that connects newlyweds with engaged couples to exchange wedding supplies for free. We created the exchange because we believe in this stuff! Weddings don’t have to cost a fortune or be wasteful.
- Check out your local Buy Nothing group (hyper local Facebook groups where everything is free).
- Check out your local tool libraries – sometimes they offer kitchen/catering related items or even event related items.
- Ask friends or family to borrow items (from their wedding or other events). Ideas here include extra chairs or tables, coolers, lawn games, and so much more depending on your community. Make sure to label the bottom of items with who they belong to, keep a detailed list of who lent you what, and make a plan for returning the items.
- Hire a wedding planner for 1 hour
- If you can’t afford a wedding planner, consider reaching out to local wedding planners to see if they would be willing to be hired for 1 hour as a consultant to ask questions and get local recommendations. Here’s an example of a wedding planner who does this in Portland, Oregon.
- If you’re hiring a Day-Of Coordinator, ask if you’re allowed to meet with them early on in your planning process to ask questions/get recommendations. If it’s not part of their regular package, they might be willing to add it for a small fee.
- Ask for help (and accept help when it’s offered)
- For some, it can be difficult to ask for help. If that’s you, try making a list of tasks that could be done by someone other than you. Keep that handy for when people offer help and see if something on that list appeals to them.
- Keep in mind that many people feel honored to have a role helping with someone’s wedding – especially those closest to us! That being said, it’s always best for help to be voluntary. Keep an eye on the total amount of time and effort being asked of an individual (as well as how their task could impact their experience of the wedding itself). And always proceed with caution when the task is part of or related to that person’s profession (unless you’ll be paying them).
Make a Budget
Lastly, make a budget. Not just a general idea of what the big ticket items might cost, but a detailed budget that includes everything you can think of. You don’t have to know exactly what everything will cost up front, but even just the exercise of penciling it in can be very illuminating. Your chances of staying within your budget are very low if you don’t have a plan of how that money will be spent.
This can be as simple as a spreadsheet with a column for how much you budgeted for each item, a column for the actual cost, and a column for how much you’ve paid so far.
If you’re not sure where to start on guessing how much things will cost, check out The Knot Real Weddings Study, Zola’s Average Cost of Weddings, or check out the Wedding Planning Sub-Reddit for people posting price breakdowns of what they spent.
Be Kind to Yourself
Planning a wedding is hard work. And the tighter your budget is, the harder that work becomes. So be kind to yourself during the process, and remember that the amount of money spent is not correlated with how amazing the wedding is. It doesn’t tell you how much fun will be had, how much love can be felt, or how long the memories will be cherished.
–
What’d we miss? Tell us your best wedding budgeting tips below!
Photo Credit: Roberto Rodriguez Photography